A lot has happened in the time between. I have a really lousy sense of time, so this is how my mind thinks of the past two to three years. Stuff is not exactly, um, sequential.
I got a job, did not know how to cope with the stress placed upon me by a manager who was herself facing incredible corporate pressure.
I survived a suicide attempt in 2007, had an ICU stay, had an inpatient psych stay, and came away from it deciding that suicide really wasn't so much an answer as much as a gigantic middle finger raised to the world, and that if I was going to go around flipping the world off, I might as well get paid for it, which leads to the next step in my life.
I recuperated for a year and in the meantime enrolled in university as a Fine Arts major (see what I mean by flipping off the world).
My marriage nearly broke up. My husband and I underwent enormous amounts of marriage counselling, supplementing the enormous amounts of therapy I already was getting.
I find out I'm actually a great student and a lot of the mistreatment I got for bad grades in my childhood were scapegoating and bullshit. (I still have trouble believing I am an A-grade student, but my GPA says so.)
In seeking disability accommodation for school I also get diagnosed as OCD and ADD and get put on meds for the ADD, which actually helps my functioning a great deal.
Right now I'm a much different person from when I posted here in the past. I no longer seek reconciliation with my mother - I'm civil with her on the phone, but I otherwise just don't care any more. I'm a lot more confident and a lot more convinced of my worth, and while life is still interesting, I'm happier and I think tougher.